What Might Have Been
by LaurenG
Summary: What would have happened had Bella chosen Jacob instead of going after Edward in New Moon? R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_DISCLAIMER: I am in no way connected to Stephenie Meyer, nor do any of the characters in this story belong to me. This is written merely for my enjoyment, and the-hopeful-enjoyment of the readers. _

_ This is my first Twilight fanfic! Please review! Please please please! I would love you forever! =] Thank you!_

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Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair.

If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder… I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight.

But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?

Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought about turning my head.

And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear.

"Be happy," he told me.*

I felt tears prick my eyes. His final farewell.

I blinked and a single tear squeezed out of the corner of my eye. Could I do it? I asked myself again. I knew in that second that I could. I would.

I summoned all the courage I had left, and turned my head slowly to the side. Jacob's skin scorched my cheek is it brushed his shoulder. I pressed my lips gently to his hot shoulder.

"Jacob," I whispered.

His arms tightened around me. I tilted my head back and looked up into his face. "I do love you."

He took in a sharp breath. "Do you really mean that Bella?" His face looked tortured and ecstatic, afraid and happy all at once.

"I do, Jake." And in that instant I did. I did love Jacob Black. Although a part of my heart would always belong to Edward, my Romeo, what was left was completely and wholly Jacob's.

Jake looked back and forth between my eyes searching any hint of a lie. He found none. His bent towards me hesitantly, still searching my face. I closed my eyes, waiting. At last, I felt his warm lips brush mine. He pulled back, and I opened my eyes. "This isn't right, Bells." His face looked tortured again.

But when I had felt his lips against mine warm and soft, something Edward's never could be, I felt something stirring in my chest. Fragments of my heart that for so long had been absent, came back, and I felt almost completely whole. There was still a tiny shard missing, but it would heal in time. "I need you Jacob," I whispered. "I love you."

He was still unsure, but he bent towards me again. His eyes closed, and I felt a twinge of pain from the tiny hole in my chest. I ignored it and met Jacob's lips. At first we were both hesitant, but I forced myself to open my lips, just a little bit. Jake responded. His hand tightened around my waist, and his other one tangled itself in my hair. My own arms went around his neck and our breathing grew ragged. Our lips moved together in perfect harmony. This was new to me. I had never ever been kissed like this before. Jacob's lips were soft and hot, moving with mine in ways Edward's never had.

All to soon we broke away, gasping for breath. Jacob pressed his forehead to mine.

A gush of cool air gushed through the open windows in the truck.

"OH!" Jacob exclaimed. He pulled away, keeping one arm around my shoulders still. "Holy _crap_!"

He revved the engine, and stepped on the gas.

"Jake, what's wrong?" His outburst frightened me.

"Vampires!"

I felt my face go white as the blood rushed downwards. "How do you know?" My voice quavered. Not again, I pleaded.

"Because I can smell it! Dangit!" His eyes searched the dark street wildly looking for a sign of the familiar white skin; the flash of orange. My eyes were wide with terror.

"Phase or get her out of here?" Jacob whispered to himself. He looked over at me, taking note of my panic-stricken eyes, and pale face. "Right. Get you out."

He put the truck in reverse and the tires squealed against the wet pavement as it spun around. As the headlights flashed into the driveway I saw a familiar sleek black car.

"Wait! Jacob! I know that car!" I gripped his arm tightly.

Jacob ignored me and put the car in drive. "Jacob! Stop! That's Carlisle's car!" Jake slammed on the brakes and I flew forward. He caught me before I hit the dashboard.

"What?" he hissed. His eyes flashed.

"Jake, that's Carlisle's car! The Cullen's are here!" Despite my declaration of love for Jacob, I felt a sudden boost of excitement. I could see Jacob's face become lined with pain.

"Oh." That was all he said. Just "Oh."

I had hurt him. I had hurt my Jacob. I felt a pang of regret. "Jake… will you come with me?" I honestly did want him by my side. But what if Edward was there? What would I do? I loved Jake! But my heart still wasn't quite whole; a part of it still belonged to Edward. Perhaps if Jacob stayed next to me, he could keep my heart from flying apart again.

Jacob hesitated. "Please, Jake?" I pleaded.

"Okay." He paused. "But if there's any sign of danger, I'm getting you out. I don't care what you say."

I stared at him. "Oh, thanks Jacob," I said sarcastically. "There won't be any danger. The Cullen's would never hurt me."

He gawked at me. "Bella, did you see yourself after they left?"

I was at a loss for words. "I… I … They were just doing what they thought was best for me, Jake."

He glared at the black car in my driveway. "Well, they were wrong weren't they?"

I put my hand on his arm, and he looked at me. "Jacob? Can… we go in?" He was thinking hard about something.

"Sure, sure," he said distractedly. He opened his door and stepped out into the thick, heavy air. Jacob pulled me out his door and held me tight against his side as we walked to the front door. I reached for the spare key above the door, but Jacob swatted my hand away and grabbed it easily. He unlocked the door and opened it. The hallway was dark. I searched the wall with my fingers, looking for the light-switch.

"Bella, when did you get a puppy?"

I gasped at the familiar voice. "Alice?" My fingers found the switch and I flipped it. There was Alice, beautiful and pixie-like, standing in my home. Her nose was wrinkled in distaste.

"Hello, Jacob," she greeted him, trying to smooth out her face.

I squeezed Jacob's hand; he was standing stock-still, staring at Alice. His face was contorted into an almost identical mask of disgust. He nodded. "Alice."

Alice's eyes swiveled to look at my hand firmly clasped in Jacob's, and then back at me, questioning. "Bella?"

I looked at the ground awkwardly. "Hm?" I could feel my cheeks turn pink. Would she be angry with me for moving on after Edward left? After she left?

"Would you please explain to me why you're alive?" It's so nice to see you too, Alice.

"Should I not be?" I asked confused. Then I remembered. That must be why she was here. "You… saw me fall?" Again, I stared at the floor, too ashamed to meet her blazing eyes.

"No, Bella. I did not see you fall. I saw you _jump_." I coughed. "I _told _him this would happen. But of course he wouldn't listen to me! Oh no. Of course he would do everything his own way! Because Edward knows best!" I met her eyes, and my own grew moist. Edward. The tiny hole in my heart ached for him. I blinked rapidly.

"Oh Alice," I whispered. I let go of Jacob's hand and ran into her arms. I had missed her so much. I had missed them all, but Alice the most besides… I didn't want to think his name. My heart felt like it was about to break apart again. I needed Jacob's touch. He was the glue that held me together.

"I know, Bella. I missed you too." She spoke in a breathless way, as if she was trying not to breathe. Of course.

I stepped back. "Sorry," I said apologetically, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"It's alright. I had forgotten how good you smelled." I grinned as I took hold of Jacob's hand again.

"So… the two of you…?" Alice let her question trail off suggestively, and my cheeks burned.

"Yes." Jake's answer was curt. "The two of us." He leaned down to kiss my forehead gently.

Alice stared hard at me, her black eyes boring holes right into me.

*Quote from New Moon pg. 378

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_REVIEW!!! Thank you. =]_


	2. Chapter 2

_Ah! Intense stuff in this chapter! Please review!!!_

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I shrank into Jacob's side, away from her gaze.

"Alice?" My voice was husky and my throat was aching from the salt water I had swallowed earlier. "Are you angry with me?" Her eyes were appraising as she considered my question.

"No. I'm not angry with you. Just ticked." She narrowed her eyes. "I change my mind. I am angry with you. You never answered my question! Why on earth did you throw yourself off that cliff? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING BELLA?"

I gulped. How could I get out of telling her? Especially with Jake there. It wasn't a story for his ears. It would hurt him again. I paused, not wanting to say anything in front of Jake, but at the same time wanting to tell Alice.

"Yeah." I started at Jacob's unexpected input. "Why exactly did you jump? That was the dumbest thing you've ever done. And you've done some pretty dumb things in the short time you've lived here." Alice's lips twitched.

"I… I… uh… I… " Suddenly it all burst out. "IjumpedbecauseIwantedtohearEdward'svoicebecausehealwaystalkstomewhenI'mabouttodie!" I covered my mouth with my hands, completely horrified.

Alice and Jacob stared at me, faces blank. For several long moments I waited.

Jacob opened his mouth, and I winced. It was coming. "Uh… can you repeat that? I didn't quite catch what you said."

I took several deep breaths. "Jake… Please don't hate me for this." Jacob's face grew worried, and I wondered if he would still want me after I told him that I had almost killed myself today for just so I could hear the phantom voice of the man I had been in love with for the past year. I took one last breath and held it for a moment. "I jumped off the cliff because… because I wanted to hear Edward's voice." I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see his face. The pain I would cause him hurt me just as much, if not worse.

Silence. "What do you mean? How could jumping off a cliff help you hear his voice? Is he like Pocahontas or something? Do you, like, see his face in the wind?" Jacob asked me sarcastically.

Crud. I hadn't planned on spilling everything, but it was unavoidable now. "Whenever… I was in danger… I would hear his voice telling me to stop. That's why—"

"—That's why you did all those crazy, dangerous things with me? Not because… not because you wanted to be with me?" The pain in his voice was unmistakable. His dark eyes looked so terribly sad that I felt as though yet another piece of my heart had ripped itself loose.

"No, Jacob! I loved being with you! I loved… you," I whispered the last word. "You made me feel whole again." Alice looked at me long and hard, and I was fully aware of her disapproval.

"Bella… you do know what he is right?"

I glared at her, and from the corner of my eye I saw Jacob do the same. "Of course she knows, bloodsucker." His face was furious.

Alice was taken aback. "Why on earth are you with him? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is for you? Werewolves are extremely volatile! If he loses his temper…" I shuddered, thinking about Emily Young's beautiful, ravaged face and how terrible it must make Sam feel to know that he did that to her.

"You mean like I'm about to right now?" he hissed. He took a step forward, and I placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Don't Jake. Please." I turned to Alice. "Alice, please. I love Jake. He wouldn't hurt me."

She raised her eyebrow skeptically, and then sighed. "Bella, I don't want to fight with you. I love you. You're my best friend."

"And you're mine." I looked at her pleadingly. "Please try to understand, Alice. He left me. Edward left. And when that happened my heart broke. Jacob helped put it back together again." I put my arms around his waist and leaned against his warm body. "I couldn't have waited for him forever, Alice. Especially since I had no hope he would ever come back. He wanted me to move on. He said he didn't love me anymore."

"Bella, he's a stupid boy!"

"Vampire," Jacob corrected.

Alice gave him the evil eye. "—_vampire _then," she spat. "I promise you, he never ever stopped loving you." My heart throbbed, and I was glad that I was holding onto Jacob. "Bella," Alice whispered. "I saw you and Edward together. I saw you become one of us." Jacob stiffened, and his arms tightened around me. "Now you're just going to ignore that?"

Alice was confusing me. I didn't know what was right. I loved Jacob, but my heart wasn't completely whole. Part of it still belonged to Edward, and was that fair for Jake? He deserved someone whole. Someone who could love him with their whole heart. Not a broken, confused girl like me. I remembered the fantasies I had had of Edward and I together. Both of us terribly beautiful with white marble skin, and golden eyes. And then the image changed. I imagined myself with Jacob, my skin a healthy peach, and my cheeks rosy. Two little raven-haired boys ran in circles around our legs.

"Alice… Edward and I… we could never be the same again. I loved him, and he broke my heart. Now I have Jacob."

Jacob coughed. "Bells, if you're going to be okay, I think I'll wait outside." He coughed again. "I love you," he said leaning down to kiss me gently on the lips.

"I love you too," I whispered against his cheek. As soon as he left, I felt suddenly dark inside, as if the sun had just disappeared behind a blanket of clouds.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you Alice." I paused. "Even though you can be pretty irritating at times." Alice looked sincerely hurt. "I'm just joking Alice." I smiled at her.

She motioned to the living room. "Shall we...? I imagine you would like to sit down. You've been through quite an ordeal today." She rolled her eyes and I sighed. I followed her to the old couch that sloped down in the middle from the many hours that Charlie had spent sitting there glued to the television.

Alice sat down on one side of the couch and I sat down on the other. My joints creaked when they bent; I was so sore. Suddenly Alice stood up again. I looked at her questioningly.

"I'm sorry Bella. I need to hunt. You smell much too appetizing." I nodded understandingly.

"Alright, Alice. You'll be back though, won't you? I don't want to say goodbye so soon!" The thought of her leaving again before we had had a chance to really talk made my eyes sting with unshed tears.

"Of course, Bella. I'll be back. See you in a bit." She disappeared, and I heard the front door close quietly, only to be opened a minute later by Jacob.

"Why'd the bloodsucker leave?" he asked, coming to my side and placing his hands on my shoulders.

"She needed to hunt. And her name is Alice." I stood up from the couch and leaned against his chest. I loved his smell. It was warm and musky; very distinctive. His bare russet skin burned my cheek. His arms encircled my waist and held me close.

"You must be hungry, Bells. Lets get you something to eat." I protested weakly, not wanting to leave the warmth and comfort of his embrace, but not quite being able to resist the idea of food. I needed a good square meal.

He pulled me by the hand into the kitchen and sat me down in a chair. The very chair Edward used to sit in while he would watch me eat. I pushed the thought from my head. Edward was no more, Jacob was my everything.

He found some leftover spaghetti in the fridge and put it in the microwave to warm it up. I stood up to go to him, but he came to me.

"You need rest, Bella."

I reached for him and he welcomed me into his arms. "I need you," I said, my words muffled against his chest. He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face.

"Bella, do you have any conception of how much I love you?" His dark eyes stared into mine, hypnotizing me.

"Do you have any conception of how much I love _you_?" He chuckled, and leaned down to kiss me. I closed my eyes. It started very soft and gentle, but didn't remain so. My lips parted and I could feel Jacob's hot breath in my mouth. One of his arms was around my waist, pulling me closer to him; almost as close as it was humanly possible to be. His other hand held the back of my head, his fingers twisted in my hair. My own hands were crushed against his chest, feeling the hard contours of the muscles rippling below his skin.

The phone rang.

I jumped and broke away breathing heavily. Jacob's breathing was quick and ragged. "I'll get it," he said.

"Swan residence?" He made a face as though he had smelled something nasty. "No, he's not here right now…. He's at the funeral…. Can I take a message?" He pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at me. "He hung up."

"The funeral? Holy crow! I didn't know it was going to be today…" I groaned. "Poor Charlie. I haven't even seen him yet." I felt terrible. Charlie had just lost one of his best friends, and I hadn't even thought about him or what I could do. "Who was on the phone, by the way?" I asked curiously.

"The doctor bloodsucker. What's his name?"

"Carlisle?" I asked in a small voice. What was with the Cullens today?

The front door slammed open. "Bella?" It was Alice. There was a frantic note to her voice.

"Alice? What's wrong?"

She came around the corner, and her face was panic-stricken. She looked like she was going to lose it. "It's Edward."

I started. "Edward?" I took a deep breath, and felt Jacob stiffen beside me. I ignored him and ran to Alice, grabbing both of her hands in mine. "Alice what happened? What did you see?"

"He's going to the Volturi." Her voice was hysterical, and I could tell she was trying desperately to cover it up. I had never seen her lose control like this before. My world went spiraling down. No. He couldn't. Why would he do that? What made him decide that? The little hole in my heart opened wide and tore at me. No, Edward. No!

Jacob caught me when my legs failed.

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_Please review!!! Thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for all of your reviews! Sorry this chapter isn't very long. I've been kind of stuck. I'll try to update more quickly next time!_

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"Jacob," I gasped. "What did Carlisle say?"

Alice perked up. "Carlisle? What are you talking about Bella?" She peered into my eyes, her face still frantic.

"Carlisle called a minute before you got back." I was confused by her reaction. "Jacob answered the phone."

Alice turned to Jake. She was tiny compared to him, but I had a feeling that she could be just as—if not more—dangerous than he. "What did he say, Dog? And your exact response."

Jacob looked defensive. "He asked for Charlie, and I told him that he was at the funeral so he hung up."

Alice wailed, "That wasn't Carlisle you mutt!" My heart stopped beating for a moment. "It was Edward! He thinks Bella is dead!"

I gasped. "Alice! Call him back! Call him! Now!" But she was already dialing. I heard the phone ring once, twice, and then an automated voice telling her to leave a message. I sank to the floor again. This couldn't be happening. My insides were in turmoil; I didn't know which way was up, or which way was down, or what I felt for Edward. Why did this have to happen?

"He won't answer," Alice said, her voice dead. "I don't know what to do. I can't make him believe that you're alive; he'll just think I'm trying to trick him. Which, mind you, I would probably do even if you had been killed."

I stayed on the ground, rocking back and forth. Jacob knelt next to me. "Bella? Honey? Please, come on. Snap out of it!" I stopped rocking, and stared at his face. It was lined with pain and worry. I was hurting him again. I was always hurting him.

"Jake," I whispered. I threw myself against him and buried my face against his chest. "I have to stop him. I can't let him die! I can't let him kill himself because of a stupid mistake that I made!"

"Are you proposing that we take a trip to Italy?" Alice asked. Italy. Right. That was where the Volturi lived. If it was the only way to save him, then yes.

"We?" My eyebrows knit together. "Will you come with me Alice?"

"Of course Bella! Edward is my brother—in a manner of speaking." Her face went blank for a moment, and then the panic came into her eyes again, twofold. "Bella, we need to go. Right now. Edward is on his way! He's already thought of a plan. He's going to… to expose himself for what he is. Tomorrow. On Saint Marcus Day. The Volturi will be provoked. We have to go."

I stared at her. "Now?"

She huffed. "Yes, Bella! Right now! Please hurry!"

Throughout the entire discussion, Jake had been silent. Now he spoke. "So, Bella. I suppose this means… we're over?" There was so much pain in his voice that it brought tears to my eyes.

"No Jake! No!" I struggled for a moment. "I won't abandon you. I love you! But… I can't let Edward kill himself just because he thinks I'm dead! I can't do that!"

"Why? He left you." Jacob's voice was uncharacteristically harsh, and I knew it was because he was hurting.

Alice snarled. "What would you know, _mutt_?"

I put my hands over my eyes. "Stop it, both of you! Please!" I turned to Jake. "Jake, will you come with us? I can't bear to leave you right now. I need you with me." I looked into his eyes, trying to communicate wordlessly how much I really did need him.

He looked unsure for a moment. Alice stood impatiently behind us, tapping her foot on the ground. Her eagerness to be going was almost tangible in the air. "Okay. I'll come." He sighed. "But I'm not sitting next to Pixie over here." He jerked his thumb in Alice's direction, eliciting a smile from me, and a glare from her.

"Are you quite done? Edward won't wait," she hissed.

I was suddenly reminded of the dire situation my former Love was in, and I gasped. "I need to call Charlie! He doesn't have a phone! I'll write him a note!"

I grabbed a piece of scratch paper and a pen.

Dad,

I'm sorry about Harry.

There's an emergency, and I have to leave. It's a matter of life and death. I'll tell you about it when I get home. I love you.

Sorry.

Bella

I left the note next to the phone where he would be sure to see it.

"Hurry!" Alice whined impatiently. I grabbed my shoes and followed Alice out the black Mercedes parked in the driveway. Jacob took my hand and held it tightly, as we got into the backseat together.

"What is this? I'm not a chauffer," Alice muttered to herself, just loud enough for Jake and I to hear. Alice turned the key and the engine hummed to life. She zoomed out of the driveway and down the deserted street.

Half an hour later we arrived at the Seattle airport. Alice purchased our tickets and we headed to the proper terminal. I was shivering, and my heart was pounding. Jacob hugged me to his chest, and I immediately felt a sense of peace and calm descend upon me. Everything was going to be okay.

What would happen when I saw Edward? Would I still love Jacob? Or would my heart remember the way it used to pound when he came close? Would my skin remember the chills that swept through me at his touch?

What if… what if we didn't get to him in time?

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_Please review! Please please please! Thanks!_


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